Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Daring Greatly

I am busy reading a fascinating book by Brene Brown called Daring Greatly which is all about the power of vulnerability. The book covers what it is to be wholehearted and to step up to the plate and take charge of your life and to lay it all out there - warts and all - for everyone to see. Its based on this speech by Theodore Rooseveldt:

I watched the TED Talks video on the Power of Vulnerability and there Brene talks about what the wholehearted and the people who acknowledge their vulnerabilities embrace, and it bears some thinking about.
  • Have the courage to be imperfect
  • Treat themselves and others nicely
  • Authentically connect to others
  • Understand that what makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful
  • Believe vulnerability is necessary for self actualisation
Vulnerability is thought to be always the core of shame, fear, struggle and worthiness, bit is also the place where joy, creativity, belonging and love are birthed. The problem is when we numb the fear, shame and struggle, we also numb the joy and love. So what happens is that you end up living a really vanilla life - with very few highlights and low lights - you just exist, a human being - not a human doing. We perfect, we pretend, we make things that are uncertain certain. And we don't live.
So what we need to do is let ourselves be seen, love with whole hearts even though there is no guarantee and practice consistent gratitude and joy and above all else, believe we are enough. NOW.
Im on that journey now - I have created facades of perfection all around me - people think my life is fantastic. And in many ways it is. But in many ways I also tend to allow things to be ok that are not - I act like they do, like Im not bothered. I am not always real - with very few people am I raw-ly real. I am not partnered - I want a partner. I am not thin - I want to be thinner. I am not healthy - I want to be healthy. I am not being creative - I want to be creative. I am not majorly stimulated at work - I want to be stimulated. I am not happy with some friendships - I want to be discerning with who I spend my time with.
So in order to move from my current to my desired I have to be vulnerable. I have to lay it out there. I was going to keep my Paloe / LCHF a secret - tell no one, then just effortlessly reveal that I have mastered my eating and that I am now a size 8 (will never be a size 8 but you get my point). But that cannot work for me. I cant hide behind my vulnerabilities and insecurities - I have to embrace them. I have to own them. And take charge. And I cannot do that hiding behind the perfection I create and portray. I have to embrace all elements of me and I have to open myself up to people and friends and love.
And that friends, is more terrifying than the idea of never eating cake again!
Let us do it! Let us dare greatly!

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